„The only thing that is constant is change.” (Heraclitus)
My way of thinking, my behavior and my attitude were changed apparently overnight, which affect my environment. I clearly remember myself when three years ago I was waiting for my first exam period with full of curiosity. Then two years ago I lost my interest in the university, I thought that the knowledge doesn’t exist what I can’t get in practice, I felt it’s not useful and necessary to attend the classes, the exam period was really suffering for me. Last year in this time I have already known, that a life changing adventure was waiting for me in Portugal. Now as I’m looking back to this three years, I feel I can’t fit into the atmosphere of the university because of my huge personality changes.
It’s like I would jump from point A to B in a flash, but the truth is that it was an accurately planned process. Who planned it? Not me for sure. I believe that we were born to the earth because we have the task to do. We don’t know this task beforehand because it would be so easy. We must find and fulfill it during our life.
What is my task?
I have no idea.
When will I find it?
I have no idea.
But I know one thing. Everybody steps into my life to teach something to me. Every life situation comes in order to improve me. Anywhere I go in the world it’s because I have a common task with those people, situations, and problems. The current economical and political situation, the standard of living and the educational and healthcare situation are not influencing my choice. The followings motivate me more. Culture and habits I’m interested in. Countries, where the way of thinking and habits of habitats are the closest to mine. Based on this I prefer two continents: South America and Asia. To be more concrete the two first place on my bucket list are Brazil and India.
Many people think that these countries are so far and so dangerous that even if I can save enough money for the flight ticket, I will definitely starve to death or somebody kills me on the first day. These people don’t understand me at all. I don’t go for sightseeing. I don’t want to go to India to take a look at the Taj Mahal, but to get to know the local people, their culture, habits, foods, daily lives, what they think about their country, women’s equality, marriage, birth, and reincarnation. I believe a journey like this contributes to my self-development. My goal is not ticking off another country on the list, but to shape my way of thinking through this experiences and to find my way in this life.
Every people before a big change gets a sign, which says: “Hellllooo, you don’t live your life in a good way, stop for a while and rethink your life.” For example, these signs can be a transportation accident, what you survive, a malignant tumor, a heart attack or any other healthcare disease. Those people who suffered from this diseases and had accidents says in many cases:
“I was lucky because I survived.”
“I was lucky because I got well.”
The fortune doesn’t exist. This kind of life situation is always a sign that you need to change something. Of course, it’s your choice. You can also decide that you want to change nothing, but I’m sure that you will get signs showing you that you are living your life in a wrong way. How many times have been hearing from any old lady, who her tumor has returned for three times or from a man who had a car accident for two times? Until you don’t admit that you arrived before changes, you will get signs again and again.
My case is not connected to any accident or disease. The life wasn’t so cruel with me. Perhaps the reason is that I felt subconsciously I need to change. In that time I used to eat cheeseburger and gyros all the time. I never cooked. There was a month when I didn’t use to eat any fruit. I used to hate the most of the vegetables, sleep just a bit and be always tired. I believed everything that I have heard without checking or calling into questions the information. I didn’t really use to have any opinion because my knowledge was insecure. In this life situation, I met somebody, who had a strongly determined opinion about all of those things we spoke with. We can call him Béla. Béla was spiritual. Béla didn’t eat meat. Béla was talking about those kinds of things what I have never heard about beforehand. For example, he asked me what I think about what’s the opposite of love. I didn’t know what to say for this question because earlier I have never thought about this. He said: the fear. I didn’t understand. As I didn’t understand many things. After that, it still happened for several months. Despite that, I felt my life was changing, my habits were the same (cheeseburger, less fruit). Then I was traveling to Portugal where the things calmed down. Béla didn’t impact on me like before. But I changed a lot. I was not willing to follow the crowd during my Erasmus, I rather choose to live according to my rules and I have done what I wanted. After when I had come home the real changes started. It happened so fastly that I still don’t understand. I started to do yoga, concentrate on myself instead of the outside world, eat healthily, set my own values.
I feel that I am going in the right direction.